The funny thing is that Arthur is always portrayed as some popular jock in modern au fics, when in canon he is a friendless loser.. all his friends are just Merlin’s friends who just started accepting that Arthur was there and ordering them around because Merlin was busy giving Arthur cow eyes when he wasn’t giving big speeches about how great of a King Arthur would become/is
Okay Leon was kinda Arthur’s friend before Merlin, but even that rule-fkn-following knight adopted Merlin when he got the chance… mr giving Merlin advice on what weapon to kill the king with
Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*
a small rhythmic motion: is happening
us for 6 million years and counting: talented brilliant showstopping incredible
Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.
Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can’t change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they’re fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.
Two towns over there’s a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they’re barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.
“But don’t their clients feel weird knowing that they’re feeding off their suffering?” No they think it’s hilarious and they’re real shits about it.
Finally a medical professional who believes that they are in pain. Because the fucker is actively chowing down on your agony. Not only am I going to get treated by them I’m going to invite all of my chronically ill friends to come as well.
Turns out if you treat the pain then the humans will bring you more humans who are suffering. It’s like a restaurant where the waiter is so impressed by your ability to eat food they’re giving you more on the house
They say things like “well, it’s a real feast day for Belogarth today!” and “if my meds are held up at customs again I’m gonna put Belogarth in a food coma” and Belogarth is the one feeling weird about it
ALT
